


Not without you

by ChestnutBrumby



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, But if you want to read it romantic go for it, GUYS THERE ARE MAJOR ENGAME SPOILERS IN HERE, Please see it at the movies first THEN read this, Post-Endgame, Sam/Bucky bromance, Spoilers, end credits scene, scarlet vision - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-25
Updated: 2019-04-25
Packaged: 2020-01-31 18:06:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18596638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChestnutBrumby/pseuds/ChestnutBrumby
Summary: Sam is struggling and Bucky is on his left.Bonus Scarlet Vision end credits sequence! Can be read as a sequel to my fic 'Can you hear it calling'  but it isn't necessary to read it to get this one.





	Not without you

**Author's Note:**

> After Endgame I have a LOT of Sam and Bucky feels okay. And you guys already know I literally always have Scarlet Vision feels so.   
> Set just after Steve dies peacefully of old age.

It was a beautiful day. A few fluffy white clouds were suspended high above, and Sam studied them as if they might turn into stormclouds and dump six inches of rain to match his gloomy mood. A bird of prey soared by overhead and Sam identified it out of habit, a red-tailed hawk. He wished he was back at home, at peace with the world out in his father's bird hide. Nothing more to speculate on than if they were going to see the resident golden eagle pair that day.    
  
He picked up the shield and juggled it awkwardly, trying to figure out if he ought to treat it like it was made of fine china or the vibranium that is actually was. He found Bucky on a wooden bench out in the compound's garden. It was hard for Sam to believe something so simple had survived Thanos's attack. (The bench, not Bucky). There was something he'd been wanting to ask the super soldier for a few days now, but he'd been too grief-stricken the days after Steve's funeral.   
  
"You knew." Sam sat down beside Bucky as he spoke. He flexed his metal fingers, turning over the question. He didn't have to ask what Sam was questioning him about.   
  
"What makes you say that?"   
  
"Before St-" Sam's usually composed voice faltered. Bucky could feel it pouring off him - the grief. It was easy to recognize because he felt exactly the same way. A lifetime as Steve Roger's right hand guy, but it could never be enough. For a wild moment Bucky had hoped... with Shuri's help, the help of Steve's new teammates, they could have it all again. The friendship he treasured. The person Bucky loved best in the world, the one he'd recognized even through HYDRA brainwashing. He thought they'd have another lifetime of fighting side by side - maybe more, because who knew how long it would take a couple of super soldiers to age?   
  
He reached out and put his metal hand on Sam's shoulder as the other man's head bowed, as the tears escaped. He didn't say anything until Sam was composed enough to continue.   
  
"Before Bruce sent him back. You told Steve. You said _I'll miss you_. I never thought anything of it then. But you didn't say goodbye, or good luck. You knew he wasn't going to come back."   
  
It wasn't really a question but Bucky nodded. "I knew."   
  
"You knew _him._ "   
  
"I knew him better than I knew myself. And I knew Peggy Carter for a long time, too. And seeing them together... he tried, Sam. He really tried to move on from her. We saw that, with Sharon. But Steve didn't have it in him. Some ties, some people - you're always bound to them. It's unbreakable."   
  
Sam looked at the ground. How could he even do this? How could he possibly take on the mantle of Captain America when his best friend, the man who knew him best, the man who should have the shield, was sitting here beside him.    
  
"You knew him best. It should have been you."   
  
"No."   
  
Sam looked up with a steely glint in his eye, for all that Bucky was the one with metal literally attached to him. "How can you say no? Just like that?" He demanded.   
  
Bucky ran his real hand through his hair. "It's not about him, Sam. It's what you've done, and what I've done. I spent years killing people-"   
"-While you were brainwashed!"   
"-You spent years fighting for your country then helping those who came home after the war." Bucky continued. He could see though that the calm of his words was having the opposite effect on Sam, his jaw clenching, his dark eyes narrowing as frustration and fear compounded inside him.   
  
"What if he's wrong?"   
  
"Steve's never wrong. Not about things like this."  
  
Sam lost it totally then and leaped up, hands curled into fists. Bucky rose too, but his movements were loose, palms open, not tensing up just because Sam had. He knew that he could move faster and block any punch that Sam might throw at him. He didn't really believe it would come to that anyway.   
  
"I can't, Buck! I CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT HIM." Sam didn't throw a punch but he sure as hell was upset. He never raised his voice in anger, he never lost his cool. Bucky waited patiently, letting him fight it back down under control on his own, without Bucky prodding at him.   
  
When he could be sure he wouldn't be shoved away, Bucky reached out and drew Sam into one of those gruff man-hugs, complete with a back-pat. Sam resisted for a few seconds but Bucky felt his shoulders relax just a fraction.   
  
"Every day when I wake up I feel like that." He confessed once they parted, and Sam's surprise managed to temper his anger a little more.  
  
Sam dashed his hand angrily underneath his eyes. "Bucky. You- I know it's selfish. But I need you. If I do this, I need you with me."   
  
Bucky looked into Sam's familiar angular face and saw the doubt and the hope mingled together. He didn't have to think before he was nodding.   
  
"I'm with you, Sam. Till the end of the line." He knew that Steve wouldn't have repeated those particular words to anyone else, that that had been their thing, but his heart was heavy as he spoke them. The doubt was infectious and Bucky felt a sliver of it infuse his heart.   
  
Not because Sam was the wrong person. But because Bucky wasn't the right one, which was infinitely more complicated. He put aside his own concerns to try and alleviate Sam's.   
  
"Sam. He believed you could do this. Now is not the time to have doubts. Believe in yourself. Believe in Steve."   
  
There was a long silence.   
  
"Let me think about it." Sam stood up abruptly and strode away, and he left the shield sitting behind at Bucky's feet. He sighed and picked it up with his metal arm, balancing it over his lap and staring down at it. Such a familiar sight he expected to glance at it and see Steve behind it.   
  
"Steve, pal. We really miss you, you know." He rubbed his hand over a tiny spot on the vibranium to restore the typical pristine state. Then he stood up too. Time to go check in with Wanda, and maybe see if Rhodey and Bruce were in, or the kid or New Girl or anyone else's whose names he hadn't quite learned properly yet. Sam needed more than just a semi-stable hundred year old man.   
  
He needed a team. 

**Author's Note:**

> **Bonus End Credits scene**
> 
> Wanda rushed to the blonde-haired man with a delighted laugh, throwing her arms as far around him as they could reach. 
> 
> "Thor, you look better." 
> 
> "Yes, well, space brings out the best in my complexion." 
> 
> Wanda grinned cheekily at the Thunder God. "Oh actually I was talking about the shave and all the weight you lost." She pointed out mischievously. He laughed with her, but there was a seriousness in his blue eye despite the levity of the sound. 
> 
> "Steve... he left me something to find. With a note that said I was to bring it to you." He hefted Mjolnir with the ease he always had, and Wanda stared in surprise. And then swallowed. She was working on it, but it wasn't easy. She knew without needing the note, why Thor had been instructed to bring Mjolnir here. 
> 
> She tried to clear her throat, aimed for another joke. "Where am I going to put it?" She asked, and Thor smiled a little sadly. "Well, I have a fairly lengthy trip planned with Drax, so. It might have to be somewhere you don't wish to move it from, for a time." 
> 
> "Alright. Well - is Wakanda too far out of your way?" 
> 
> He put a friendly arm around her and she nestled into his side, relieved to have him back even for a short while. "Not for you. And for Vision." He kissed her temple in that annoying big-brother way they all did, but Wanda was too busy trying to decide if she wanted to grasp onto the hope or push it from her to properly protest. 
> 
> Thor left Wanda the note before he left, and she read and reread the words until they were seared into her memory. 
> 
> _Dear Wanda,_  
>  You ought to know that some of my happiest times were when Nat and I were training you, Vision, Sam, and Rhodey. You learned so quickly, from your successes as well as your mistakes. Don't be afraid to keep making the latter - I've only met one person as good as you at setting things right. I already know you'll continue to make me proud. I know Pietro and your parents would have been, as well. I'm leaving this gift for you to give back to Vision, when it all comes back together. I wish you every happiness together. I think of you and the others every day.   
> Lots of love,   
> -Steve. 


End file.
